365 days of {gretchalina}

when i read the email inviting me to be part of a 365 project for this year…
well, you have to know by now how much i enjoy projects.
when i read a little further and saw that it was a 365 self portrait project…
well, that was a different story altogether.
really, how many people are truly comfortable in front of any camera.
how many people genuinely love having their picture made?
how hard do you think it is to make a photo of yourself everyday for 365 days?
my point exactly.
initially i thought…no. but, i met this group of seriously talented women through susannah conway’s
unravelling e-course from last year {a simply amazing journey, if you’re so inclined}
and i wanted to be a part of another project with them.
so, i said yes, but that i could never promise one everyday for 365 days straight.
i would, instead, try for 365 days total.
even at that, i am lagging behind quite a bit.

so…the pictures…
first, let me share that the physical act of making photos of myself, day after day, was quite surreal.
it wasn’t long before other feelings like…very intimidating sprinkled with feelings of
egotistical~ness, vanity, shock of the visual truth through the lens…kicked in.
this was really hard on so many levels.
not surprisingly, i didn’t like what i looked like. this wasn’t what i thought i looked like…or felt like.
not fair at all. i was so ready to give it up. this was brutal.
then i started looking around at other sp projects and decided to try again.
i knew i’d have to get over the nasty negative thoughts that were circling around in my head about how i looked
and i better get more creative if i was going to survive this.
i started to think up different shots, trying to think way outside the lines.
i also realized that i could do anything i wanted
including showing exactly how i felt that particular day.
so what if it was a quiet day, a sad day, or an all i want to do is hide day. it was real.
and it was, after all, for me to look back and reflect on at the end of the project.

so…the pictures…
going way out of my comfort zone to post them on my own blog, but they are part of me and this journey.
…the good, the bad, the ugly.
and, maybe, you too, will be inspired to think about your own journey and how you might document it for yourself.

365 {so far}

yes, i like butterflies.